It’s not easy trying to not feel anything.

Today, I did the inevitable thing. No need to know what the ‘thing’ is, but still, it’s good to rise and be above.

My own feeling’s aside.

—

Sometimes, life is simple. Like this day.

It started with a bath, and will ended with one. I know so.

But the important things that happened, happens between.

Like, my exam for example. I did good, I think.

And after that, my conversation with someone about love, kinda make me shivered a bit.

And then, I went to my friend’s birthday party. He turned 21 this week. Important mark for a boy, who’ll turn into a man. A good man.

And like now, I wrote about this thing and later I’ll make my cheat sheet for tomorrow’s exam. Not that I’ll cheat, but the professor told us to.

—

Like I said, it’s not easy to not feel anything. A person you once loved, a person you once cared about, in front of you, but (s)he is dead to you now.

Not because you did something wrong.

Not because (s)he did something wrong.

I didn’t even know what the cause. But it hurt.

And I gotta hurt more before I feel good again. I have to rise up, and be a good man.

For I have to feel happy when I am really sad.

For I have to feel welcomed when I know that (s)he resent me.

For I have to feel like there is nothing there, when I know that the feeling is still there.

But after all this, then come the realization.

—

The realization that you still are alive. It hits you. Hard. Harder.

The fact that you’re surrounded by the people you know, by the people you love, by the people you believe will be by your side no matter what your condition are.

The people you choose to be your family. My very good friends. Who happened to be there.

They still there. They supported me without even realizing that they did it.

They made my day happier than it should be. They made this ‘thing’ easier than it supposed to be.

And for that, I thanked you, my good friends.

—

At the end of the day, I looked back and I know one thing.

That I passed this day. Without unwanted accident. Without cries or sobs.

At the end of the day, I knew that I rised up and above. To be a good man. A good person I’m supposed to be.

—

the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming

NB: Thanks for Grey’s Anatomy TV Series. Many inspirations and words I used in this post.