Happily Ever After December 13, 2009
Posted by aurenessa in a bit bout me life, feel n breath.Tags: life, love
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From the day I can read, I’ve read a lot of books, and I mean a lotsszzz. In my young adult phase here, I come to realize one thing.
That I am a hopeless romantic but maybe I can’t really express it in a way that people tend to understand.
Let’s just say, in others eyes’ I am a very indifference person when it come to expression, especially to show someone that I really care about him/her.
So then, I started to think.. Is there a life happily ever after? Like many films, let’s say.. hmm, The Proposal (Sandra Bullock), Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs (Flint and Sam, I know this is a 3D character, but who cares??), Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (Jennifer Garner), Enchanted (Patrick Dempsey), and et cetera et cetera..
The list goes on.
It’s all about finding your true love, your soul mate, the one who understand you and only truly you. *lol*.
But I think, this journey is not a short one, like say, college.
I think it’s a journey of a lifetime.
But even though the happily-ever-after won’t come now and then, we can pretend and hope that the happily-ever-after thing that they teach to every children in the world in the fairy tail we read or watch when we were children, is real. That goes, we can hope for the best happily-ever-after of our own versions.
And, I think there goes all my crap. LOL
—
Actually, one more thing though, I really want to thank a few people, from whom I learn that love will never perish.. From whom I learn that love is a real thing, and from whom I learn that the fierceness of love is a never ending story. 
That’s all I can say either than the “thank-you-for-everything“-craps.
As for the living, never stop dreaming till it comes true
from.the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming
Specially dedicated to:
Ephen, Fanies, Ichel, Mel, Novarine, Sendhy, Yochie
(Ordered alphabetically) lol *winks*
Rising Up, Rising Above October 30, 2009
Posted by aurenessa in a bit bout me life, feel n breath.1 comment so far
It’s not easy trying to not feel anything.
Today, I did the inevitable thing. No need to know what the ‘thing’ is, but still, it’s good to rise and be above.
My own feeling’s aside.
—
Sometimes, life is simple. Like this day.
It started with a bath, and will ended with one. I know so.
But the important things that happened, happens between.
Like, my exam for example. I did good, I think.
And after that, my conversation with someone about love, kinda make me shivered a bit.
And then, I went to my friend’s birthday party. He turned 21 this week. Important mark for a boy, who’ll turn into a man. A good man.
And like now, I wrote about this thing and later I’ll make my cheat sheet for tomorrow’s exam. Not that I’ll cheat, but the professor told us to.
—
Like I said, it’s not easy to not feel anything. A person you once loved, a person you once cared about, in front of you, but (s)he is dead to you now.
Not because you did something wrong.
Not because (s)he did something wrong.
I didn’t even know what the cause. But it hurt.
And I gotta hurt more before I feel good again. I have to rise up, and be a good man.
For I have to feel happy when I am really sad.
For I have to feel welcomed when I know that (s)he resent me.
For I have to feel like there is nothing there, when I know that the feeling is still there.
But after all this, then come the realization.
—
The realization that you still are alive. It hits you. Hard. Harder.
The fact that you’re surrounded by the people you know, by the people you love, by the people you believe will be by your side no matter what your condition are.
The people you choose to be your family. My very good friends. Who happened to be there.
They still there. They supported me without even realizing that they did it.
They made my day happier than it should be. They made this ‘thing’ easier than it supposed to be.
And for that, I thanked you, my good friends.
—
At the end of the day, I looked back and I know one thing.
That I passed this day. Without unwanted accident. Without cries or sobs.
At the end of the day, I knew that I rised up and above. To be a good man. A good person I’m supposed to be.
—
the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming
NB: Thanks for Grey’s Anatomy TV Series. Many inspirations and words I used in this post.
my 1st violin exam October 20, 2009
Posted by aurenessa in a bit bout me life, living the life.Tags: dreamz, me, past
4 comments
Okay, so here’s the deal. One year ago, I was posting “the 4th exam” as it was the 4th time I went to “Cisatu II” to have my skill examined by one big Mr. British Man who is a big achiever in music major.
Oh, and good news. I passed that exam *LOL*
Back to the topic, now the place of the exam have been changed. I went to “Kiai Luhur” instead of “Cisatu II”. I don’t like it. It is hot, dusty, and quiet filthy.
And I thought,
It’s okay. The exam room maybe lit up a lil bit, for this place looks like cheap resto…
But unfortunately, it was destined not to be lit up. *sobbing*
Like usual, the participant must attend 1 hour before the time of the exam. I was there by 11 o’clock, and my exam was 11.45. So I waited and reviewed my scales and arpeggios. I don’t know why, but violin’s scales are a lil bit harder than piano’s.
First of all, you don’t have the key in violin. It’s all about feelings, and then my teacher would be soooo mad at me he’d said I’m crazy. *LOL*
Second, your hands walk a straight-line on piano. On violin? Different stories guys. 4 different strings. 4 different tones.
And third, I just can’t, and I am lazy but awesome. *LOL*
So, by 11.45 I am very nervous but remained to stay calm. For God’s sake, my teacher is really indifferent. =_=
And the funny thing is, this is the very first “Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music“ exam that wasn’t on time. Actually I’m kinda glad. I have the time to open my violin case because the case can’t be brought to the exam room.
—
Ms. Long Black Hair: “Aurel?”
Me: “Yes”
Ms. Long Black Hair: “Now’s the time. Follow me.”
—
FYI, I really really hope that the exam room kinda BIG because it reduced the feeling of your claustrophobic thought. And it kinda nice to stand in the big room that bigger than you, and not stand in the room that make you LOOK very BIG!
And that happened. The room is very very tiny I can’t breath. If my violin’s bow is 2 centimeters longer I’ll definitely looks like somebody stupid who can’t play the violin. >_<
—
20.10.09, 12.04 AM
Mr. Another British Man: “Hellooo…” *British Accent*
*Smile smile smile, don’t forget, but he didn’t even smile*
1st, 2nd, and 3rd pieces, I felt like my bow has its own will =.= The tones vibrated by themselves. *sobbing*
—
20.10.09 12.14 AM
Mr. Another British Man: “Let’s do the aural for 3rd grader”
And like usual, like my story at the 4th exam, I can’t sing. It all went AAAAAA!!!!!! but I don’t think that is the tone that the Mr. Another British Man is looking for.
And suddenly~~~
Mr. Another British Man: “Okay, thank you. You may go now, don’t forget your pieces”
—
Outside the room
What the hell just happened? =.=
Explanation: My 7th grade piano exam went by 25 minutes, and this one went by only 14 minutes. See the different?
—
Conclusion:
I really like music, but the grogginess and nervous system in my head always played me. *LOL*
Hope this one went smoothly and I got good grades. and I think I wanna do the 8th graders exam next year. Hopefully 
from.the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming
My New Blog ^^ October 1, 2009
Posted by aurenessa in a bit bout me life, dreaming!.Tags: photos
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Hello everybody, because of the last post (Rainbow) is quiet a good post (I think), I decided to make a new blog.
This blog is to fulfill my need because I really enjoy taking photos. I hope you enjoy the new blog:
from.the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming
Life..? September 28, 2009
Posted by aurenessa in a bit bout me life.add a comment
If anyone is asking about the definition of life (without being philosophic), I myself don’t know what to say nor what to write.
But today, my professor said something funny. He said that life is about four aspect. Movement. Change. Equilibrium. Stability. I’ll try to translate my thought into words below.
1. Movement
By nature, our body, our human and mortal body always move even when we sleep. They breath by their own, and the controller is our brain. This explain a lot about movement.
But, what my professor said is about we move from one place to another, from a “knowing-nothing-at-all” and pacing to become “knowing-anything-is-appreciated” to “I-now-know-many-things-but-I-feel-so-damn-stupid”
Yes, that’s right. When you know many many many things, you will realize that you are still stupider, more stupid, stupidiest, the most stupidiest among us all. *overacting-my-words*
From kindergarten, primary school, junior high, and high school. And by our own choice we choose to do something. Personally, I took two different major at two different university.
So, by now what my professor said had been true and understandable.
2. Change
We change. Our body change. From zygot — baby — child — teenager — young adult — adult. Yep, every lucky human being who is given enough time to live will go through this phase.
But that’s standard. Here, change mean we changed. Being a better person.
From mean to meaner. *LOL* Kiddin’ guys.
We try to change to become better, not worse. We talk, we learn, we do. All we did today, all we did the day before today, all we did BEFORE today is what made us the ‘we’ we know now. Tomorrow, we’ll not be the same person anymore. We changed. We’ve learned.
To be a better person. Everyday.
3. Equilibrium
This point, we talked about point of equilibrium. Simply about our home.
Home is a place with your family where you would get the feeling of ‘comfy’ better than some place elsewhere. That’s our human point of equilibrium.
Equilibrium is about environment.
I rather not to talk about this because I’m still learning how to write my thought without making you all confuse *LOL* later, I think. When I grew up.
4. Stability
If you are a college student, I believe we all know what we called schedule. Without the schedule, everything would be a mess and we wouldn’t live through the first year 
*LOL*
If our condition is stabilize, we have to make plan for years ahead. Do you still want to become the same person you are now? For me it means “Do I still want to go to campus for another two years”. Because stability made us laaazzzzzyyyyy.
This point is a dangerous one, but still we need it in daily basis, or say monthly basis.
—-
Yeah, I think I have wrote enough. This is about life from mathematic’s point of view. Have a good life ^_^
from.the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming
To My Best Friend September 16, 2009
Posted by aurenessa in a bit bout me life, living the life.Tags: friend, life, love
2 comments
This exact time one year ago, I was posting this: http://neverstopdreaming.wordpress.com/2008/09/16/the-light-of-my-life/
And now I think I’ll post another one..
That one is to dark and shadowy. I want to do shiny and gloomy, not dark and shadowy ^^
—
It’s funny how we still friends till this exact second.
We’re too much alike.
Our mind always doing ‘that’ thing when you know what he was thinking without doing so much effort.
We take and give for that what friendship is.
—
He and I have many moments together, one we could still share laughs for, one we could still see in our own eyes, one we could still remember clearly as it happens just yesterday.
1. I remember when I was in sophomore years, I come to start knowing him because of musics. It was piano that brought us together. I sat right behind him in class everyday for one years.
2. I remember one year after the musics phase, we were doing something so bad that we got one month detention. For the first three weeks, we were at home everyday. I played Play Station everyday and he read Darren Shan saga. Then, our principal made us went to school for the last week’s detention. We were to be very quiet in the library, doing nothing. Just waiting till the bell rang and went home. How sucks that could be?? And I remember, he has one of his birthday at library 
3. I remember the pride, first day we went to ITB (Institut Teknologi Bandung, the college he and I attend). Still using our high school uniform, but afterall, we are college student. No need for uniform after this very day. 
4. I remember we played MMORPG, RO to be exact, and then we went nuts, taking picture and this is the result: 
5. I remember our fight. One year (or 6months..?) we weren’t talking to each other for the thing that is definitely not worth it. You were right. I was wrong. And the consequences lays ahead.
6. I remember many things. But ultimately, it was fill with this feelings: Joy, Happiness, Gratitude
7. I remember, today is your birthday hehehe 
—
Happy birthday bro, may this day open every path of your life, for you are destined to be a great person
from.the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming.
Memories August 22, 2009
Posted by aurenessa in a bit bout me life.Tags: life
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As I grazed trough,
all the memories suddenly floating back inside my head..
Everything I dreamt of
Everything I thought of
Everything
It felt like rainbows
Beautiful
But it also felt like fear
Full of pain
One by one,
Little by little,
One step at a time,
And one problem at a time
It’s hard. It feels hard.
But I got through it
Every painful detail, the most excruciating one
Every blissful detail, the most endearing one
Yes it’s gone now. And I’m thankful for it.
Just let me be me
Just let me be the person I always dreamt
Yes, as I grazed through,
I became the new me.
The old one.
-never.stop.dreaming-
Love May 23, 2009
Posted by aurenessa in a bit bout me life.1 comment so far
It has been quiet a long week for me, and I couldn’t hope for a better week or for a worst week than this week.
Yes. It is a dilemma. With knowledge, come greater responsibility. That works for me.
As I said before, love is an eternal feeling.
Love has an explanation from every science in the world.
Math. Chemistry. Physic. Biology.
Every science could do the math about love.
But when the feeling rushes us, we just couldn’t do the calculation. Believe me.
That is not how love works.
We couldn’t choose whom we love.
And we couldn’t deny why we love one.
And still, we would not cause pain to the one we love.
Love depends on many variables.
Times.
Intensity.
Blindness. (Oh it is a variable, believe me)
The kindness of one’s heart.
Rationality is too.
I may not have too many people in my life.
But the people whom I’ve learned to know, whom I’ve tried to understand, is the people I love.
I may not have been there for them.
But when I am, I pay attention.
I may not have known everything about them.
But when I know about one thing, I make sure that I’ll remember it for as long as I’m still breathing.
I made mistakes. I dissapointed them. Yes, pretty sure.
But I try to learn from my mistakes and do better.
Everybody deserves a second chance when it comes to heart.
Everybody deserves to be love.
For love is a lesson through eternity..
the.one.who.will.always.pray.for.them
bittywittyme April 19, 2009
Posted by aurenessa in a bit bout me life, living the life.Tags: friend, life, me
2 comments
On this post, I’ll talk much about me.. (Indonesian mode: CURHAT!) hehehe3 LOL
Months ago, I got a USB driver, free!! from Sony Vaio. Unfortunately, just 3 or 4 weeks ago, that USB is missing T_T
Oh man, I am so sadddddd T.T hikshikshiks.. I’ve been searching everywhere I could think of, and Tadaaaaa.. Nothing.. It still is missing, or worse, robbed by someone I’ve known for a very longggg time.. Hate it hate it hate it..
I think the melancholy part is enough..
What I like about my life :
- best environment
- best equipment
- best clothes
- best foods
- best almost everything, except my behaviour LOL hehehe
Oh, another story.. My computer is dying, so I gave it to ma tante.. She is so happy coz she likes Sally’s spa and Sally’s salon very much (Oh come on Nes, this is an elementary grade’s sentence for God’s sake =,= )
I really don’t like a PC which happened to restart every two minutes or so. =_=;;
Now, I have to use my Macbook.. A very very hot computer..
Nnhh, what else? I can’t find a place for my books in plastic (I still and still don’t have time to read it all). It’s like sea of books in my house. In my bedroom, my study room, the living room, the TV room, you can take a book and read it. Messy messy messy.
Owh, another thing. Maybe you can read this sentence in my facebook (still hangin’ there) :
Friend is something money can’t buy. Not even VISA.
I made this quote about two or three weeks ago. Why? Because it is true. Simple and sure. Having two degrees to be done with, made me become a crazy person. And I really appreciate my Unpar’s friends who’ve been very supportive and thoughtful even though I always happened to be a burden for them all. Sorrryyy…
I always thought about how my life will be if there is no coincidence in 2006.. What it would be to study in just one place at one time.. But what is done is done. It cannot be undone, despite everything I ever thought of. So sad.. T.T
So this post is very messy.
Ah, last thingy. Yesterday, I went to “International Day 2009, by IST (ITB Student Forum)” and I saw a performance from Madagascarian (am I rite??). The dance is very funny, enjoyable and very impressive.
I happened to learn many things too. About another country. Mostly South Asian, like Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam. That’s a good event. I like it
So, I’ve to stop before this post get messier. Although j’aime écrire ce poste 
^.^
Be blessed, all the best.
from the.one.who.still.living.in.a.world.of.her
c’est trѐs difficile!!! December 6, 2008
Posted by aurenessa in a bit bout me life.Tags: abstract
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That’s the most sentences I’ve been uttering to myself (damn!) in my own head!
Sucks!!!
—
Sorry for not updating. It’s been hell. But what I wanna share today (I hope there is something I “COULD” share) is my little life when I am so damn big.
Oopss.. whining again. Not gonna do it anymore.
—
I’ve just finished the Breaking Dawn. The last book of Twilight Saga. For what it’s worth, DAMN I like it!
A good plot, happy ending, with unexpected twist. Genius Stephenie Meyer.
And then, I do a lot of thinking.
How come a vampire (which is an understatement if I say: they can live forever) live happily ever after? They live the eternal life here, helloo!
I don’t really know the answer. Still thinking hehe
—
Really really waiting for my dreams come true!
the.one.who.still.keeping.her.dream
