The 7th of October
To this day, this specific date always holds so much meaning inside my heart.
I guess, if the sinus curve work for my emotion, this one will be the peak for it. (Yeah, don’t mind me).
Anyway, yeah. It has been such a long time since I’ve last posted. So many things have changed.
I changed my hair, my job, my friends (not too literal but that’s what you do when you move to another city), my city of course, and maybe in some inherent way, I changed myself.
I don’t know whether this is for the better or for the worse. I don’t know what the future holds.. but hopefully, there will be one.
the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming
Expectation
If I asked myself a few years ago, I wouldn’t see myself as being where I am now.
Did I get my chance to do a Doctorate degree? Yes.
Did I finish it? Not yet.
Am I okay with it? More than okay.
That’s one small part of what I’ve dreamt of for so long.
So yeah. This August marked a one-year milestone that I’ve been a corporate employee. Something my 17-year-old me wouldn’t have expected. Loathe, even. But through this one year experience, I’ve learnt so much of myself.
It’s something simple.
I know that I never stop learning. I know that I’m relentless in my own way.
I know that life throws you a lemon but at the end of the day, when you lay down in bed, you’re grateful that you’re healthy, alive, well, and loved.
I know that people seem happier than you, but you’ve gotta dig to your own happiness. Because happiness and calmness are something innate, something that has been given to you because your soul bears memories of thousands of lifetimes. It knows the essence of the universe even if you or your body does not.
I know that the scariest anger is from those you loved. Because their words sting and ring true, to the deepest part of you. But choosing to stay every time, is the essence of loving people. But sometimes, you’ll know that it’s time. To let the universe decides and for you to accept that there are some things in this world that just flows regardless of what you do.
So yeah, if I asked my younger self whether I see myself here, still standing after ordeals and heartbreaks and so many countless fights and sleepless nights, my younger self will be amazed.
In the end, you decide your own strength.
It may not come in the form that you expect, but nevertheless, as your soul is just as old as the universe, it knows better.
the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming
Epitaph
“Every year on this date, I always am reminded by the beauty of trust, and of love. And that, will never change.”
This is what I wrote the moment I opened my eyes today.
And if I were to write an epitaph for her, for someone who taught me so much about love, about the beauty of having faith that a kid is really smart and capable of doing anything, I’d write this:
“Love is simple. It started out with a smile, and it ended up with a smile. And we nurture love with faith. It’s that simple.”
Because without my maths teacher, I won’t be where I am today. Because a part of my heart is hers. Because she helped me figured out who I am when I was growing up. Because she taught me so many things about life.
Because in my life, she was irreplaceable.
So today, I was reminded by the beauty of love. Of how that simple thing could turn around the impossible. That who we love, become a part of us, an indelible one. And that is, exquisitely beautiful, isn’t it?
from.the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming
Adventure
Sometimes, people crave adventure in a way that they want to escape their real life and for a week, or so, they want to be someone else.
The simplest thing for me, is this. (Indonesian Language from this point on). Read More »
4 years ago I arrived in Manchester, and little did I know, the city taught me so much, and I left with strings of lasting friendship. Thank you for the experience, Manchester.
View on Path
There are two types of happiness. One is ice cream, two is the second ice cream after you ate the first one. Motto of my life! with Andrea
View on Path
Friendship
There is a saying,
Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you your future.
I just heard this a while ago but I couldn’t really object to the statement anyway. It’s dead on.
And if you’re lucky, some of your friendships, just like mine, turned into something beautiful. Because they became a part of your family.
There’s this string, I believe. The strongest one is for your soulmate. I like to think that this string, the strongest of all, is made of beautiful strings of myriad of colours, creating rainbow colours when it’s bright. Why? Because with your destined soulmate, you feel every range of emotions intertwined. Beautiful one, like rainbow.
Then there’s this friendship string. They have different colours. Depending on how your relationship is with the supposed friend. They won’t be as colourful as rainbows, but it will come close if it’s with some of your best friends.
Then it made me wonder. What is it that makes the friendship lasts. Because believe me, I’ve had my share of bad friendship that ended in heartbreaks.
I came to simple conclusion. The one that lasts is the one where both listen to each other without judgment, and with pure intention to push each other forwards. Be it your soulmate, or your friends.
It may vary for other people, I mean, some would be comfortable in a comfort zone where their friends are there just enough to be a clown, or a substitute. But for me personally, that’s the essence of those who last.
Because we touch each other in every essence of the word. We touch other’s life, as they do us. But those with certain gentleness in the same frequencies as ours, are those who last.
And yeah. Enough rambling about those abstracts thing now. Lol.
from.the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming
Gratitude
I just had a long session of being slapped by words. Not intentionally of course, but I’m listening and thinking too much.
But the gist was…
I was afraid of myself. I always am. Because sometimes, the darkest part of myself is always the hardest to accept. But I mean, seriously, who isn’t a little bit afraid of themselves?
So yeah, this past 4 months or so, I..deliberately yet unknowingly had been giving into those sides. And I willed it into life. Scary, isn’t it. The things that happened when we realised it yet..didn’t fully comprehend it.
And then one sane person will ask, what do you have to do when you realise what happened? The answer is easy. Balancing.
The doing part? Not so easy.
How do we start, you ask. By remembering. By knowing which wolf to feed, by knowing what do you want yourself to be, by knowing that those who loves you, loves you for all of you, and by knowing that gratitude always takes such a big part in being humble.
And through all this, if you stay, if you fight, if you will it, you’ll be better. Because isn’t that what we’re all hoping for? Making the world a better place, starting from ourselves?
from.the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming
Emotion
Emotion is a roller coaster inside us.
It flips, turns backward, turns upwards, and upside down. Sometimes, it doesn’t even have mercy.
It’s the voice inside our head, the deafening silence in the middle of the night, the screaming yell at dawn, the voice we carry around.
That simple word, owns us. Own. Such a scary word.
But wholeness, is full of it.
The Power of Dreams 