blue-ish

that's life

With every breath we count,
With every breath we held,
With every breath we breathe..

Like all the stars, we shine and then we die
That’s the circle of life

Life is ephemeral, like love
Life is uncertain, like love
Life is full of possibility, like love

In the end, we live to love
We live to die
We live to be love and to be loved

We must admit, we all are animals
We need to eat
We need to fulfill certain desire
We need to express ourselves
And deep inside we know
We are mammals, the homo sapiens, the wise man

We live together, and we die alone
That’s life

the.one.who.never.ever.stop.dreaming

Keep fighting ’till the end..

I’ve been in hell for so long, I did not realize the world has changed

The war is so bloody sodding exhausting
It took my will of life
It took every part of my body apart, crushed..

My brain fried
My finger cut
My feet bled

No, it isn’t fair. Not fair at all
I must work twice as hard
I must cry twice as sound
And still, I don’t get the point of this

Every night I have the same dreams
Whether or not this hell is gonna be forever
Whether or not this hell hole is still the same hole I’ve fallen years ago
Whether or not this hell giving me a worst life than before
And whether or not,
I’ll survive this

The pain is so unbearable I can’t breath
It caused so many damages inside
And outsides

Every night I have the same dreams
About the heaven
About the angel that will take care of me
About the eternity

It just is. Life.

the.one.who’ve.been.dreaming.of.her.own.heaven

Love

It has been quiet a long week for me, and I couldn’t hope for a better week or for a worst week than this week.
Yes. It is a dilemma. With knowledge, come greater responsibility. That works for me.

As I said before, love is an eternal feeling.

Love has an explanation from every science in the world.
Math. Chemistry. Physic. Biology.
Every science  could do the math about love.

But when the feeling rushes us, we just couldn’t do the calculation. Believe me.
That is not how love works.

We couldn’t choose whom we love.
And we couldn’t deny why we love one.
And still, we would not cause pain to the one we love.

Love depends on many variables.
Times.
Intensity.
Blindness. (Oh it is a variable, believe me)
The kindness of one’s heart.
Rationality is too.

I may not have too many people in my life.
But the people whom I’ve learned to know, whom I’ve tried to understand, is the people I love.

I may not have been there for them.
But when I am, I pay attention.

I may not have known everything about them.
But when I know about one thing, I make sure that I’ll remember it for as long as I’m still breathing.

I made mistakes. I dissapointed them. Yes, pretty sure.
But I try to learn from my mistakes and do better.

Everybody deserves a second chance when it comes to heart.
Everybody deserves to be love.

For love is a lesson through eternity..

the.one.who.will.always.pray.for.them

blink once, blink twice

Take a deep breath, look up to the brightest sky you’ll ever see.
It still is there. It does not go anywhere.

God’s design.
God’s plan.
God’s artwork.

People are God’s best artwork.

It is what we do that defined us in others eyes.
It is what we say that defined us in others eyes.

What define us in God’s eyes?
Our heart. Our lonely heart who will always calling for Him, no matter what.
Our strongest heart ever made by Him which will not stop until He says so.

Many things can inspire us in this life.
But nothing will do as the nature, to us.
Because the nature is God, because God is nature.

We are here because we believe that we would make a difference for our poor Earth.
That’s what we should do. One way or another.
Because He believes in us.
To take care of His Earth.

Blink once.
Blink twice.
You will still breathing.
That means He’ll always love you. He is the eternal love.

For us all.

from the.one.who.has.been.dreaming.about.it

bittywittyme

On this post, I’ll talk much about me.. (Indonesian mode: CURHAT!) hehehe3 LOL

Months ago, I got a USB driver, free!! from Sony Vaio. Unfortunately, just 3 or 4 weeks ago, that USB is missing T_T
Oh man, I am so sadddddd T.T hikshikshiks.. I’ve been searching everywhere I could think of, and Tadaaaaa.. Nothing.. It still is missing, or worse, robbed by someone I’ve known for a very longggg time.. Hate it hate it hate it..

I think the melancholy part is enough..

What I like about my life :
- best environment
- best equipment
- best clothes
- best foods
- best almost everything, except my behaviour LOL hehehe

Oh, another story.. My computer is dying, so I gave it to ma tante.. She is so happy coz she likes Sally’s spa and Sally’s salon very much (Oh come on Nes, this is an elementary grade’s sentence for God’s sake =,= )

I really don’t like a PC which happened to restart every two minutes or so. =_=;;
Now, I have to use my Macbook.. A very very hot computer..

Nnhh, what else? I can’t find a place for my books in plastic (I still and still don’t have time to read it all). It’s like sea of books in my house. In my bedroom, my study room, the living room, the TV room, you can take a book and read it. Messy messy messy.

Owh, another thing. Maybe you can read this sentence in my facebook (still hangin’ there) :

Friend is something money can’t buy. Not even VISA.

I made this quote about two or three weeks ago. Why? Because it is true. Simple and sure. Having two degrees to be done with, made me become a crazy person. And I really appreciate my Unpar’s friends who’ve been very supportive and thoughtful even though I always happened to be a burden for them all. Sorrryyy…

I always thought about how my life will be if there is no coincidence in 2006.. What it would be to study in just one place at one time.. But what is done is done. It cannot be undone, despite everything I ever thought of. So sad.. T.T

So this post is very messy.

Ah, last thingy. Yesterday, I went to “International Day 2009, by IST (ITB Student Forum)” and I saw a performance from Madagascarian (am I rite??). The dance is very funny, enjoyable and very impressive.

I happened to learn many things too. About another country. Mostly South Asian, like Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam. That’s a good event. I like it

So, I’ve to stop before this post get messier. Although j’aime écrire ce poste ^.^

Be blessed, all the best.

from the.one.who.still.living.in.a.world.of.her

Time

Time is not describable..

It flew,
It gone,
It hurts,
So much one can’t stand

But, it is meaningless and meaningfull

Time is only a variable, where one can see, but also the only variable one can depend on

Time is contradiction
Time is God
Time is time

Nevertheless, it also heals wound for the wounded one

Because we give what it takes to be the best
Because we give everything when it comes to love

Yes, because love rely on time, on a dimension we all couldnt see, but could feel.

the.one.who.never.stop.dreaming

when u’re done, u’re done

I don’t know why I did write that, but for sure, yeah..

When you’re done, you’re done..

Life is a mess.
Life is a blessing in disguise, yes.
Life is everything.
Life is life.

I don’t like the fact that we have to do what we have to at this ages, or maybe for the rest of your life. Who knows..
I don’t like the fact that when we said something, it became clearer to the world and what’ve you said deceased into something bad.
I don’t like the fact that life is a bless in a mess.

But

I like the fact that I still have my breath.
I like the fact that some of my dream became clearer, and some other still dreamy.
I like the fact that I can do something I want to.
I like the fact that I have good friends, from the past, present, and I believe, in the future..

But, when you’re done, you’re done. No longer doing the thing you did. No longer thinking the thought you thought.

When the needles still breathing, you have no choice. You must walk by it, not giving up the slightest hope.

the.one.who.still.wanna.believe

summary of ‘08

Let’s see.. what did I do at 2008..

- went to college (a must do job)
- watched many TV series (Smallville, Friends, The Apprentice, what else, Supernatural, etc etc)
- learned how to live like a human (sanitary, health, and else)
- learned how to be a good human being (character, behaviour, and else)
- collected many comics (hobby)
- passed my piano exam with a stranger who really know that I don’t know what a pitch is (-__-)a

What else..? I don’t really remember. Yeah, my bad. Not a person who keep a diary for the life she really likes..

A brightened side below.. just click! Happy new year buddy!

for you :)

sorry it took so long to update this blog (again, n again)

this has been a really hectic year  >.<f

so, I know it’s kinda late, but.. whateva!

enjoy!

xmas08

a mother, wife, and daughter

As a girl, or just say, as one who’ve been raised by one (you wouldnt be raised by a monkey, would you??) we sometimes forget how important they are for us.

A good friend of mine once said:

Why we, as human dont give a bit appreciation to a mother, who’ve raised us till we become like this?

Why human just give Nobel to the one who offered peace?
Why just give Medal to the one whom brain really work as a computer?
Why cant we just sit, and realize that this people has raised us since when, since we were a fetus..