As human, psychologically we will try hard and even harder to fit in. That was the default setting since the moment we were born into the world.
The one thing I have realised the most since I moved to Manchester 14 months ago, is that, I am not able to fit in. It is not in my ability to fit as one piece of the missing puzzle with my friends here. My brain works differently. It works logically and practically, but in some ways, my heart trumps the brain. I love science fiction, Fringe, Doctor Who, Stargate, Star Trek, Marvel’s hero, etc. I love games. I love books. I love simple things, such as sunshine, sneaker, rucksack, and, I don’t know, food.
I love things that other people don’t, nope, scratch that, I love things that other GIRLS don’t.
And however hard I tried to fit in, I am fully aware that I will not be able to do that, at all. I am a geek, I will act strangely, I will be quiet at times people wants me to be vocal, I will walk and too distracted at something new, and I will bump to other person because I did not see where I was walking, I will be amazed by small things, my brain will suddenly works hard and I will be too consume in my own thought.
My memories work differently. My friends will be mad at me for not remembering something. But that just it, my memories does not work in chronological order. So that said, I will easily forget anything, but there are some things I will always remember dearly, a part of the story, the details, the smells, the moment.
I love with all my heart. There is no halfsies when it comes to my feelings.
But that just it. I will not try hard to fit in. There is no point in fitting in.
The point is to show the world what you are capable of. To show the world, who I AM. And that is it.
The easiest way to be happy is doing what you love to do, and know who you are. That is the ego. Of not letting go of who you are, because who you are, is God’s greatest gift, ever.